Written by Andrelyn Izquierdo.
For those dealing with sexual violence. Based on a collection of personal experiences including my own as a victim and a survivor.
WARNING: This article contains sensitive content and may be found offensive or triggering to some people. It is intended for educational and awareness purposes to help victims and their loved ones to recognize signs of Racism, Harassment, Human Trafficking, Sex Trafficking, and/or Rape. Very graphic details may include explanations from my personal experiences. If for any reason you are not ready to see details of abuse, feel free to move on and come back when you are ready. It is also recommended that you view this with a friend or family member for emotional support.
Image by Kellie Nicholson from Pixabay.
During the healing process, you'll find that there is no one set way to heal. Everyone is different and there are so many aspects of sexual violence that the deciding factors can lead people down a rabbit hole to the unknown and still feel an empty hole within their chest filled with dissatisfaction. One important step in this process is to recognize words that trigger an emotional reaction from yourself when interacting with other people. These types of words are called triggers. This may be more difficult to do with those who tend to be more sensitive in nature or very timid when speaking to other people. For example, introvert people usually keep to themselves based on their personality and preference. Since there is already an awkwardness during social interaction regardless of setting, some trigger words can cause additional discomfort.
As languages have the same words that are used in multiple ways depending on the context, it's good practice to always take a second look just in case. It is safer to not make any assumptions and examine words carefully. Things may also sound the same, but can be spelled differently. Listen or read the entire sentence first. If the full statement was not read or listened to, then try again. This is a good mental health practice that doesn't hurt the wallet.
Words Used With Sexual Context
Come - It sounds like the word cum commonly used in pornography or sex offenders.
Condominium - With the word condom in it. This word may have more of a heavier effect when read rather than listened to.
Cream - Overly used word in a sexual context rather than the food version of it. It has been used as a nickname to describe people's ejaculation.
Dynamic - Lingo repeatedly used by Recruiters, Interviewers, and Hiring Managers during interviews or orientations relating to HR as stated above.
Easy - Used as an offensive insult mostly directed towards females referring to them as prostitutes.
Enjoy - This refers to an umbrella of International brand names of sexual immature illegal content and activity that causes harm to people instead of what the word really means. Someone exposed to this may react negatively, even though it is considered a positive word in many settings.
Harem - A word seen on mature anime called Hentai usually displaying one man with several women. This word has been used from my experience by men who are rapists and want to label themselves as a harem to call themselves as lovers or boyfriends instead of rapists.
Hot - Usually used in a degrading manner when describing the looks of another person especially in the sex industry.
HR - This acronym is known to be a short abbreviation for Human Resources with the job positions of Administrative Assistant, Filing Clerk, Payroll Assistant, and more. It has been used a lot also by Human Trafficking networks who specialize in Labor Trafficking or Sex Trafficking trying to make victims be called as their own Accountants to be falsely accused as prostitutes. This acronym is a common trigger word mostly to those who have worked at these levels.
Hustle - While widely used in slang in urban neighborhoods, aka the ghetto or the hood, it's been used everywhere as a way to make money through sex trafficking or prostitution.
Joyful - This turns out to be the opposite of extraordinary. It is an extension to the word Enjoy as mentioned above.
Touch - Mentioned as an excuse to lessen the damage inflicted by their hands or other counterparts to their sexual assault victims.
Promiscuous - sexist stereotype that is used to assume women sleep around and often used as an excuse by offenders to accuse a woman as a ho.
Slut - the go-to word people use when rumors fly about a woman's character regardless of her love life. It is frequently used as an insult.
XXX - The letter X in a series of 3 represents pornography. While there have been rumors over the years of how people participate in this industry voluntarily, it is often considered false. It has moved from the illegal and encryption-filled Dark Web to the Surface Web full of videos and advertisements, where it is almost everywhere now. It is even seen on the tags of the insides of clothing as the size XXXL including teenage girls’ sizes.
From experience and helping many people who currently are or have been victims to sexual violence, I recommend recognizing trigger words as an important step even before booking an appointment with a mental health professional. Whether you are the victim or a loved one of a victim trying to help them out, when in doubt, you can always ask the person or the source of where you found the information to better equip yourself with more knowledge on what you can and cannot do for the moment. Remember that this stage is temporary. Things do not always stay this way. And it depends on how much sexual violence the victim has endured and for how long. The longer the exposure to these types of words in their censored versions, the quicker the person can adjust and things can become more careless of what words are seen or heard. Desensitization will be present.
It is normal to feel this way. There should not be any shame in recognizing what bothers you. It is a way of creating boundaries for yourself or a loved one. At whichever stage you are in during this healing process, best of luck to you and be patient with yourself as well as others no matter how long it takes.
If you're experiencing the same, here are some reminders to take with you:
Please #becareful and try to #besafe.
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This information was gathered from friends, family, and my life experiences combined.
Inspired by my true story.
Thank you for reading.
Feel free to leave a comment below.
This article is written by:
Andrelyn Izquierdo
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